Play this 'podcast' and play love differently ♠️
Key Takeaways:
EQ helps you spot your "tilt" patterns before you enter a new game.
Healthy partnerships restructure the win together in times of change.
Flying solo can be the ultimate power position.
We’ve been conditioned to believe in "destiny" and "the one," but those concepts miss the truth: how we love is the result of how we choose to invest our energy.
Whether you are happily solo, navigating a messy situationship, or ten years into a partnership, your process is what actually determines the quality of your connections. Love isn’t just about luck; it’s a series of daily choices made when nobody is handing out roses.
Leveraging the ‘Love Language’ Framework
We’re all familiar with the classic Five Love Languages originally created by Gary Chapman—the idea that we all have a specific "tank" that needs filling through things like touch or gifts. It’s a helpful starting point, but love is a game of imperfect info that requires a bit more grit.
Adapting this framework through a poker lens brings strategy to sentimentality, helping you protect your emotional bankroll so you never feel like you're gambling with your self-worth.
Poker’s Five ‘Strategic Love’ Languages
“[Poker’s] about a lot more than the game. It’s about embracing life. And poker is like a love affair. Sometimes you’re heartbroken and dejected and disappointed — and sometimes you’re in a high mood where everything in the world is perfect and wonderful.” – Victoria Coren
Decision Making: This is your negotiation tool. It’s the ability to state your needs and move in a clear direction, together or individually.
Confidence: Use this to set boundaries. It’s the resilience to trust your own intuition and speak your truth even when you feel the heavy pressure to conform to someone else’s expectations.
Emotional Intelligence: This is the language of self-awareness. It means recognizing your own "tilt" patterns—those moments where frustration or ego’s in the driver’s seat—and cooling yourself down before you make a move you’ll regret.
Resourcefulness: This is the language of adaptability. Life will eventually deal you unexpected stress or a sudden change in plans. Being resourceful means you can pivot and find a way to enjoy the life you have regardless of who’s sitting next to you at the table.
Risk: It’s the courage to be honest about your feelings, knowing full well that you might not get the response you want. Vulnerability isn’t always easy, but if you love them, invite them to your proverbial table.
A Strategy for Every Relationship Status
Which part of the relationship board are you currently navigating?
How you use these languages depends entirely on where you are currently standing. There is no "right" way to play, just focus on the position you’re in right now.
Self regulate when flying solo. Use emotional intelligence to identify your "tilt" patterns before you enter a new relationship. Developing this internal awareness builds a bankroll of self-sufficiency so you aren't playing with a scarcity mindset.
Newly dating? Be vulnerable. Focus on risk intelligence to put your true self in the game, even when there is no guarantee the other person will match your bet. Honesty acts as a natural filter for those who aren't ready for a real connection.
Be decisive when steering a situationship. Leverage decision making to move from "imperfect info" to clear communication.
Adapt and grow in a long-term partnership. Use resourcefulness to pivot together when life circumstances—like a high-pressure job, a new baby, or a sudden move— change. In poker, the board texture determines how strong your hand is in relation to the community cards; in life, it represents the external environment affecting your relationship.
Set boundaries with your exes. Use confidence to speak your truth and stay resilient against the pressure to return to a situation that no longer serves you. Trust your gut to stop the "sunk cost" cycle for a game that’s over.
Happily Ever After Starts With A Better Strategy
Going all-in with a grand gesture isn’t the only route to romance, and a relationship—or the lack of one—certainly isn't the end-all-be-all. What matters is the skill set you bring to the table of your own life.
Whether you are single by choice or looking for a partner, the goal remains the same: to make consistently better decisions for your own well-being. Your process is your power.
Take the full quiz to learn more about which power suit matches your relationship style.